Behind My Mask Of Happiness

There's a whirlwind inside my head, 
a stone inside my heart, 
yet the only thing I can do, is play my stupid part. 
There's a drummer boy drumming, keeping me awake, 
so all I do is think, 
when I'm meant to be asleep. 
The rhythm never stopping, 
just getting louder, 
keeping me awake hour after hour. 
I trudge along in silence, 
thinking it will stop, 
not knowing what I do to myself, will never really help. 
I think I can do anything, 
I think that I'm enough, 
yet I only get disappointed when it turns out that I'm not. 
People say I'm crazy happy, 
not knowing I put on a face, 
that I can really act and make myself look great. 
No one ever considers, 
that I'm not at all, 
how I'm on the outside, 
their thinking there's no mental wall. 
So how do I stop, this rhythm inside my head? 
If the drummer boy is never to cease, 
his banging inside my head. 
No answer will escape my lips, 
as much as I want them to. 
So I will just have to numb, 
what will never disappear, 
for that fast paced drumming inside my head, 
is just a part of my worst fear. 

M.I.S.T.A.K.E

Haha I made the mistake of telling my twin step sisters about the novel I'm writing. This is what happened:
Zara: I dibs reading it first!
Alia: No way I payed more attention when she was reading and asked questions!
Zara: I payed atenion I just kept quiet! Like a respectful listener.
Me: Girls you can both read it at the same time, because neither of you are reading it until its published.
Alia and Zara: WHAT?!? NO!!!!!!!
me: Mwahahaha
Zara: Then hurry up and finish it!
Alia: She hasn't even started sis!

Beauty shots...

This is some of the beautiful Australian outdoors.

 The suspension bridge leading to my campsite...

 The beautiful river with the sun reflecting off of it...

The late afternoon sun hitting our valley...

A lovely time in the forest...
I believe this photo captures me and my beliefs. Although this is not me.
Thank you Sharon de beer for your amazing photography!
A link for all his/her photographs: http://smartordart.blogspot.com/2009/05/sharon-de-beer-photographer-durban.html

A grand camping adventure!

My family and I went on a great camping trip with friends all around!

We had a community tent for food and lounging and we climbed up the side of a mountain and went swimming in the beautiful river.

This weekend My brother, Grandpa and I will be climbing up Mt Bogong!

Lost in another world

Hello again.
Sorry for not writing yesterday, but I was busy reading a wonderful book, also being stuck inside my own head.
You see when I read, I go into a trance and I do not surface, (nor do I want to) unless somebody yanks me right out of my comfort zone. For example if I am in my dreamy haze if you make go out into the world and talk to people it will get me out of it, but I will be in a bad mood for quite a while, or I will want to just go and live as a hermit will and practice my skills.
If you are finding my words strange, that is because I am in one of these trance things right now, it is strange. Very strange indeed.
Anyways I shall keep you no longer from your real lives.
-Merrie xox

Its poem time!

Alrighty guys this is where I share with you one of my poems!
This one is called:

Crumbled

So hope you enjoy!

Set your eyes upon the deadly flower,

Until the light becomes the darkening hour,

Let your will crumble and die,

Let the pain finally lie,

Be the hero of all of your dreams,

Yet never let out the terrified screams,

Be a bird flying high in the sky,

Let the mortified mother tremble and cry,

Hold in your arms the token of your beloved,

That left you nothing, but two broken jugs,

Filled to the brim, with the darkest of bloods,

That stained permanently the old woollen rugs.

-Merrie xox

My Monster and I

I wrote this story for the little dude.

ENJOY!

My monster and I

In the deep dark alley there was me

In the deep dark alley there was a monster, a small little thing, who was very unimpressive and dull.

She had big round drooping eyes, yellow, brown and broken teeth, muddy plum coloured hair and a big wet nose that dripped something translucent, that smelled faintly of vanilla. Her ears were a spectacle, with violet tufts of hair protruding from them and always sitting crooked on top of her otherwise bald head.

Her name was Primrose.

Primrose was my friend and we often played in the deep dark alley, although only on hot summer days, as there was a constant cool draft that came through.

One day we were playing a ball game with each other and I threw my ball to Primrose, who just missed the catch letting the ball roll past her and onto the crowded footpath beyond, where in turn it was picked up by a small child.

“Why Primrose” I wailed “That was my favourite ball!” I glared at her.

“I am so very sorry!” replied Primrose “I shall go retrieve it for you” She started toward the street, but I called after her.

“Primrose you cannot go out there, all the people will see you!”  I pushed past her saying “I will go to fetch it” and with that I stormed off.

Later that night when I returned back home Primrose was sitting on my bed “Did you find it?” she asked immediately as I walked in and shut the door.

“No, I did not find my ball. My favourite ball.” I was close to tears and on seeing this Primrose quickly said.

“I really am sorry, I’ll make it up to you, I promise!” All I did was shook my head and point towards my window, indicating I wanted her to leave. And just before she did climb out my window she whispered “meet me in the deep dark alley tomorrow, please?” I just nodded and left my room for dinner.

The next morning:

I entered the alley and there was Primrose holding a ball, not my ball, a better one. “This is for you to say sorry for losing your old one” she said looking incredibly serious.

‘Thank you” was all I said in reply before I went over and hugged my friend.

In the deep dark alley there was me

In the deep dark alley there was a monster, her name was Primrose and she was my friend. I had been upset when she lost my favourite ball, but that was alright now, because she had made it up to me by buying me a new one, that looked even better and was much more fun to play with.

Primrose may be unimpressive and dull, but she is my best friend and I love her, not matter what.

-Merrie xox

Watching life from inside a glass case.

Its interesting sitting here typing away at my latest story seeing my family go about their daily activities. It is indeed like I am on the other side of a sound proof glass wall, almost as if I can see and hear them, but they cannot see nor hear me. Almost as if I am on my own planet, then again, when in my head I AM in my own different world.
Everything is loud and yet the sounds are muffled to my ears, everything if busy and yet I am outside the dimension, everything is crowded, although I am the only one in the room. 'Tis a strange sensation that I get often  and wondered if you do as well...?
-Merrie xox

We never grow up do we?

Hiya guys!
Hope everyone is well and enjoying life as it comes and goes.
So I was sitting in the lounge room watching little kids shows with the little dude and decided I have not grown up, not at all, because I still enjoy watching all of the kids shows, some of the suspense is excruciating!
Then again do any of us ever really grow up? I don't think we do, the routine of being a little kid is so easy and familiar to us that even if we pretend to be all high up in business and smart and grown up in the big cities, just a little part of our brain still finds enjoyment in watching kids shows, or reading picture books, or playing with toy cars and dolls. We never really accept that we have left childhood behind, not fully at any rate.
Then again this could just be me going on again couldn't it? Ha!
Anyways happy reading, writing and other such enjoyment!
-Merrie xox